What to Do When Your Spouse Files for Divorce

Served with Divorce Documents

What to Do When Your Spouse Files for Divorce

Going through divorce is tough, but it can be even tougher when you’re the one who was served with papers. When your spouse files for divorce, a lot will go through your mind. While it’s never easy to handle the initial reaction, it’s important for you to make the right decisions moving forward with the divorce, especially if you feel as if this divorce came out of nowhere. The following information will help you get your life in order when your spouse files for divorce.


Talk to someone.

The worst thing you can do during this time in your life is to try and handle it all by yourself. Although you may not feel like talking, having someone to share your feelings with is the most important thing you can do. Maybe this is your friends or your family, or maybe you try to find a counselor to help you better manage what’s currently going on in your life. When you have someone to talk to, it will allow you to not battle this situation all on your own and can be healthier for you in the end.


Gather necessary information.

Whether you’re going through the court or have decided on mediation, one of the earliest things you should do is gather the necessary information that will be required during the divorce. This means getting your finances in order, documenting anything with your children that would be important, and also finding proof of any pre-marital assets you may have had. When you can become organized, it will make the divorce proceeding go a lot smoother.


Find a Legal Professional.

Talk to a legal professional that will help you wrap your head around what steps you need to take and what information you need to have. You can choose whichever resource makes sense for you, so you can find someone based on recommendations or choose one on your own. The best thing to do is to interview a few different options to find the one that you’re most comfortable with. Talk to a legal professional and be sure to answer any questions they may have. During these proceedings, it’s also important for you to be completely honest, as trying to hide something that eventually comes up in court can deter your chances of getting what you want.


Check your emotions at the door.

When you are served papers, it can make your emotions go crazy. Although it will be difficult to do, it’s extremely important that you don’t let your emotions get the best of you. When your emotions get the best of you, it can make you say or do things that won’t be beneficial to you in the long run. Be sure to truly think about what you want out of the divorce and fight for what you want, but don’t give into anything that could possibly happen to hurt your chances.


Be realistic.

You may want to take everything out on your spouse for filing for divorce, but you need to be realistic. If you have children, be sure that you are fair with the custody agreement, as your spouse is still your child’s parent. Make sure the steps you take are in the best interest of the children. You also need to be fair with assets, as trying to come out completely on top will only make the divorce proceeding go much longer than anticipated. When you can be realistic about what you deserve, you’ll make the situation go faster so you can get back to your life sooner rather than later.


Nobody wants to go through divorce, but when you do, it’s important you know what to expect and how to handle it in the best possible way.

To speak to a National Family Solutions representative about a family legal matter, please click on the button below

Thinking About Divorce? Steps to Take

No marriage is 100% perfect, because nobody is 100% perfect. Marriage is something you need to work at constantly because the two of you need to make adjustments and compromises all the time. However, that doesn’t mean that you need to deal with an unhappy marriage just because it’s not easy. Instead, if you’ve been regularly thinking about divorce, then maybe something is wrong that needs to be fixed, or maybe at this point it’s just not fixable. If you have found yourself thinking about divorce recently, here are a few steps to take to make you determine your final decision.


Think about why you’ve been thinking about it.

Divorce just doesn’t pop into your head for no reason. Instead, there is something that is happening or happened that makes you feel as if your marriage is not going to work any longer. If you have been thinking about divorce, start to think about why this has started to pop into your head. Does it have something to do with you, such as more stress, a recent relationship with someone else, or maybe a desire to change and move on while your partner wants to stay the same? Does it have something to do with your spouse, such as their warndering eye, their change in attitude, their lack of romance, etc.? Once you know why you’ve been thinking about divorce, you can start to determine if there’s a way to fix the situation instead of making a life-changing decision.


Talk it out.

Talking about your feelings may not be the most enjoyable conversation to have, but it’s extremely important if you really want to save your marriage. Whether you’re unhappy because of issues with yourself, or you’re unhappy because of issues with your spouse, it’s necessary that you talk it out with your spouse so that everything is out in the open. For instance, having a conversation about the reasons for unhappiness, whether it’s because you don’t like something they’re doing or you have differences of your own, will help the two of you be on the same page and work together to solve the challenges.


Try counseling.

After your issues are out in the open, you can always seek out the help of a professional marriage counselor. These individuals are trained in helping couples work through their issues to try and salvage their marriage. However, in order for it to work, you and your spouse need to put in the effort. If one of you isn’t interested in trying, then it’s not worth the time or money you’ll spend. In addition, you need to be willing to put it all out on the table during these sessions and not hold anything back.


Talk to a legal professional.

If you have done everything you can to salvage the marriage and it still isn’t working, then you should spend some time talking to a legal professional about getting a divorce. Keep in mind that divorce is expensive and time-consuming, so it’s not something you can just be done with in a day. In addition, if you have children, it could make the situation more complicated. This doesn’t mean that divorce isn’t the right option, but it means you need to be 100% sure that this is what you want and need to move forward with your life.


Wanting a divorce is a serious decision to make, so if it’s something you’ve been thinking about, then you really need to sit down and figure out if it’s what you want to do. By trying to work through your challenges, it’s possible you and your spouse could make your marriage stronger.

To speak to a National Family Solutions representative about a family legal matter, please click on the button below

We’re Getting a Divorce, What Should I Expect in Court?

One of the most challenging aspects of going to court for a divorce is that you never know quite what is going to happen. If you are going to be part of a child custody hearing where your children are involved, it is especially essential that you know what is going to happen and what you can expect from court. Many people find themselves in a state of panic and fear as they start their own court proceedings.

There are some things that you can be sure that you will experience as you head to divorce court.

The Room Will Be Small

One thing that you will not have to worry about is a packed courtroom. Many people incorrectly think that the courtroom is going to be packed and they become overly nervous about stage-fright. While the criminal courtrooms are generally packed, family matters generally do not have additional people who are not directly involved in the case. The family courtroom setting is not only much smaller but it is also meant to be more intimate.

Prepare for the Testimony

During the court case, one thing that you can be certain of is that there are going to be numerous testimonies happening, so you should be prepared for these. In a custody case, everything that you have done as a parent will come into questioning. Not only will the judge interview you and your soon-to-be ex, but other witnesses can be called to discuss events that happened when the child was present. Even your child could be called to testify, depending on their age, so you should prepare for that as well.

Short Term Time Frame

Each day, judges hear many different cases in family court. This means that your case is not likely to last very long. Since there is a strong chance that more people will be coming into the courtroom after your case is heard, you might find that the whole process feels too quick or rushed. So, make sure that you are prepared to put yourself out there and have your best foot forward.

Be Prepared for a Judge’s Decision

The day might conclude with a final decision from the judge. In some cases, mediation or other courses of action might be taken in order to try and find the best solution for a family. The judge’s job is to put aside the wants and needs of the parents, and figure out what would be in the child’s best interest. His decision will include which parent is going to be the best custodial parent and what the visitation schedule should be.


Featured photo source:

To speak to a National Family Solutions representative about a family legal matter, please click on the button below