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What to Do When Your Spouse Files for Divorce

Served with Divorce Documents

What to Do When Your Spouse Files for Divorce

Going through divorce is tough, but it can be even tougher when you’re the one who was served with papers. When your spouse files for divorce, a lot will go through your mind. While it’s never easy to handle the initial reaction, it’s important for you to make the right decisions moving forward with the divorce, especially if you feel as if this divorce came out of nowhere. The following information will help you get your life in order when your spouse files for divorce.

 

Talk to someone.

The worst thing you can do during this time in your life is to try and handle it all by yourself. Although you may not feel like talking, having someone to share your feelings with is the most important thing you can do. Maybe this is your friends or your family, or maybe you try to find a counselor to help you better manage what’s currently going on in your life. When you have someone to talk to, it will allow you to not battle this situation all on your own and can be healthier for you in the end.

 

Gather necessary information.

Whether you’re going through the court or have decided on mediation, one of the earliest things you should do is gather the necessary information that will be required during the divorce. This means getting your finances in order, documenting anything with your children that would be important, and also finding proof of any pre-marital assets you may have had. When you can become organized, it will make the divorce proceeding go a lot smoother.

 

Find a Legal Professional.

Talk to a legal professional that will help you wrap your head around what steps you need to take and what information you need to have. You can choose whichever resource makes sense for you, so you can find someone based on recommendations or choose one on your own. The best thing to do is to interview a few different options to find the one that you’re most comfortable with. Talk to a legal professional and be sure to answer any questions they may have. During these proceedings, it’s also important for you to be completely honest, as trying to hide something that eventually comes up in court can deter your chances of getting what you want.

 

Check your emotions at the door.

When you are served papers, it can make your emotions go crazy. Although it will be difficult to do, it’s extremely important that you don’t let your emotions get the best of you. When your emotions get the best of you, it can make you say or do things that won’t be beneficial to you in the long run. Be sure to truly think about what you want out of the divorce and fight for what you want, but don’t give into anything that could possibly happen to hurt your chances.

 

Be realistic.

You may want to take everything out on your spouse for filing for divorce, but you need to be realistic. If you have children, be sure that you are fair with the custody agreement, as your spouse is still your child’s parent. Make sure the steps you take are in the best interest of the children. You also need to be fair with assets, as trying to come out completely on top will only make the divorce proceeding go much longer than anticipated. When you can be realistic about what you deserve, you’ll make the situation go faster so you can get back to your life sooner rather than later.

 

Nobody wants to go through divorce, but when you do, it’s important you know what to expect and how to handle it in the best possible way.

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Deciding How to Divide Your Child’s Assets

During a divorce assets are divided.  What can be harder than dividing up the marital property is for you to determine where your children’s things belong.  Your children have their own things that are theirs and determining where these things are kept can be a challenge.  The main thing that the parents need to remember is that since these are the child’s things, where they are kept needs to be a conversation that is had with the children.  It is unfair to them if you are determining where all of their things will be without talking to them about it.

 

5 Steps to Determine Where Your Child’s Assets Belong

 

Step 1 – Determine Where the Child’s Time Will Be Spent

 

The first thing that you have to do when you are determining where your child’s things should be is to determine where your child is going to be.  If your child is going to be in one place more than the other, then it is important to take note of this and decide what of your child’s is most important so that they will have it there.

 

One option that works for some parents is to have two properties that are to be sold and compensated for after the child turns 18.  How this typically works is that one home is where the children live.  The parent who is to spend the time with the child stays in that home with them. Then the parent that is not with the child gets to stay in the other property.

 

This can work well with parents who are not going to have any other children but if they become involved with someone who has children or have more of their own then it is not something that will work.  So there are many factors to consider before making this an option for your family.

 

Step 2 – Talk to Your Child

 

It really does not matter how old your child is.  At some point you are going to have to discuss the divorce with them.  When you are discussing the divorce, you can talk to the child about where they want certain things to be at.  Explain to your child that they will want some things at each parent’s house.  When you do this, they will be able to help pick out what they have at each place.

 

You can talk about things that they want to take back and forth too like a special stuffed animal and blanket.  You can also help them to choose between things that they will want when they are with each parent.  Try to be fair about dividing things like games and consider which parent played the games with the child while living in the same home.  Also think about these types of things with books.  Being fair is the best way to make sure that your child has what makes them feel at home in both homes.

 

Step 3 – Think About Where the Item Came From

 

With big ticket items, think about where the item came from if there is a struggle.  If it came from a friend or family member, consider whose house that friend or family member will see the child at.  Doing this helps those friends and family members see the child enjoying the things that they have purchased for them.

 

Step 4 – Consider Buying Doubles

 

There are some items that you will even want to consider purchasing so that you have them at both homes.  Consider buying doubles of favorite toys, blankets, and even bedding if that is going to make your child the most comfortable.  Agree to share the cost of these items.  If you do this, it might cost a little bit of money but it is going to make the child feel more comfortable as they transition between homes.

 

Step 5 – Discuss It in Court

 

If you are fighting over items, it can be damaging to your child.  Do not fight over things.  Instead, make a list of the things that you do not agree with.  Then take this list to court with you.  Reasonably consider what is going to be best for your child.  If both parents, feel that it is best for them to have these items then you will have to let a judge determine what the best choices are.

 

Deciding how to separate the child’s belongings can be quite difficult.  The easiest way for this to happen is for both parents to make sure that they have everything that they need and then to think about what their child wants.  The goal is not for one parent to have more than the other.  Instead it is so that the child has what they need to feel comfortable and be happy in both homes.

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