Many people think that once you get a divorce that the relationship is over. The problem with this is that there are a number of other people who have been involved with your life that you might still desire to have a relationship with. You might have built a friendship with in laws or you might still desire that they have a close bond with your child. Learning what type of relationship is appropriate and healthy for everyone involved
We have all seen divorces that have gone bad. These ugly situations are ones that end up being miserable for everyone involved. The best thing that you can do for everyone involved is learn how to be on good terms after a divorce. Many people think that this is impossible, but if you have clear boundaries and expectations you can be the odds.
It is Never Too Late
One of the best things about building a friendship with your ex-spouse is that it is never too late. It takes a lot of work, but it is possible to overcome all of the negativity that is associated with a divorce. Of course you do not have to be friends if you do not want to. If you have children, you do need to find a way to be civil and get along for their sake.
Connecting with In Laws
When you have always had a good relationship with in laws, it can be devastating to lose them during a divorce. Instead of losing them, try to be civil and to continue to cultivate a relationship. This will not always work as some in laws are going to take sides. However, if you try to stay away from drama and do the right thing, there is a good chance that you can keep your relationship intact.
The hardest part of being friends with your ex is going to be creating the boundaries for your relationship. If you have children this can be even more challenging as you want your children to have a clear idea that you will not be getting back together. You do not want your children to feel stress or hatred at the hands of yourself either. So learning how to balance a healthy relationship with clear boundaries is key to making sure that your relationship remains healthy.
Overlook What You Can
Of course there are going to be things that drive you crazy about your ex. If there were not these things, then you would not be divorced. The thing you have to remember is that you can overlook these things. Just thinking about how they are no longer your problems to deal with can make this much easier. So, instead of arguing with your ex the thing that you should do is just ignore these things that are making you crazy.
Never Talk Bad About Your Ex
Learn how to never talk bad about your ex. Being able to stay away from the negative talk is something that is very hard in all of these situations. This is especially important if you have children. Your child will hear these negative things that you are saying about their other parent and they will think that you mean these things about them. This is because just as much as you are a part of your child, your ex is also a part of them as well. So, make sure that you are doing what you are supposed to and that you are not talking bad about your ex.
Know What You Want
Finally, you need to know what you want out of the relationship. Make sure that you are clear with yourself about your feelings. If you are harboring feelings for your ex then this could be something that is very hard for you. If you are honest about these feelings and able to deal with your relationship, then you can be on your way to a healthy relationship with your ex.
Being able to remain positive with your ex is one of the biggest keys to having a healthy relationship and getting along after your divorce. Both parties have to be willing to work on the relationship and to try and build a friendship or it will never work. If you’d like to stay close with your ex and remain friends after you are divorced, then you should talk to them in an open and honest way. Be clear in your intentions and thoughts and you will be on your way to a healthy relationship after a divorce.