What to Do When Your Spouse Files for Divorce

Served with Divorce Documents

What to Do When Your Spouse Files for Divorce

Going through divorce is tough, but it can be even tougher when you’re the one who was served with papers. When your spouse files for divorce, a lot will go through your mind. While it’s never easy to handle the initial reaction, it’s important for you to make the right decisions moving forward with the divorce, especially if you feel as if this divorce came out of nowhere. The following information will help you get your life in order when your spouse files for divorce.


Talk to someone.

The worst thing you can do during this time in your life is to try and handle it all by yourself. Although you may not feel like talking, having someone to share your feelings with is the most important thing you can do. Maybe this is your friends or your family, or maybe you try to find a counselor to help you better manage what’s currently going on in your life. When you have someone to talk to, it will allow you to not battle this situation all on your own and can be healthier for you in the end.


Gather necessary information.

Whether you’re going through the court or have decided on mediation, one of the earliest things you should do is gather the necessary information that will be required during the divorce. This means getting your finances in order, documenting anything with your children that would be important, and also finding proof of any pre-marital assets you may have had. When you can become organized, it will make the divorce proceeding go a lot smoother.


Find a Legal Professional.

Talk to a legal professional that will help you wrap your head around what steps you need to take and what information you need to have. You can choose whichever resource makes sense for you, so you can find someone based on recommendations or choose one on your own. The best thing to do is to interview a few different options to find the one that you’re most comfortable with. Talk to a legal professional and be sure to answer any questions they may have. During these proceedings, it’s also important for you to be completely honest, as trying to hide something that eventually comes up in court can deter your chances of getting what you want.


Check your emotions at the door.

When you are served papers, it can make your emotions go crazy. Although it will be difficult to do, it’s extremely important that you don’t let your emotions get the best of you. When your emotions get the best of you, it can make you say or do things that won’t be beneficial to you in the long run. Be sure to truly think about what you want out of the divorce and fight for what you want, but don’t give into anything that could possibly happen to hurt your chances.


Be realistic.

You may want to take everything out on your spouse for filing for divorce, but you need to be realistic. If you have children, be sure that you are fair with the custody agreement, as your spouse is still your child’s parent. Make sure the steps you take are in the best interest of the children. You also need to be fair with assets, as trying to come out completely on top will only make the divorce proceeding go much longer than anticipated. When you can be realistic about what you deserve, you’ll make the situation go faster so you can get back to your life sooner rather than later.


Nobody wants to go through divorce, but when you do, it’s important you know what to expect and how to handle it in the best possible way.

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Coping With Divorce When You’re Living With a Disability

Coping with divorce is never easy, but it’s something 40-50 percent of all couples in the U.S. face at some point. And while there are many factors to every split, individuals who are living with a disability share the fact that the dissolution of a marriage can take a toll mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you have children, the stress of navigating a divorce while figuring out how best to care for the kids—and doing it without daily help from a partner—may be overwhelming.


It’s important to find some resources that will help you get through this tough time, and it’s equally important to take care of yourself. It can be difficult to think about when you have so much to do and manage, but self-care is imperative in reducing stress and staying healthy. And as a parent, you need to be your best self in order to provide for your children.


Here are some tips on how to navigate a divorce when you’re living with a disability.


Garner support


Having support from friends and family has never been more important, so talk to them about what your needs are and how they can help. You might ask one person to help with picking up your children from school, while someone else can assist in getting you moved into a new place. Divorce comes with lots of change, so the more familiar people you have around to help, the better.


Research resources


As an individual with a disability, you are likely entitled to some benefits, and there other resources that can help you with daily tasks and funding. Do some research to ensure that these benefits will continue uninterrupted after the divorce. If you have been ordered by the court to pay child support, your state or federal benefits may change, but there are some options depending on which state you live in. Look online or talk to your case worker about how to plan for your finances.


Get some help


With so much to think about and take care of during a divorce, it’s important to find ways to make life easier. Depending on the nature of your disability, you may become tired easily or have trouble carrying out daily tasks on your own, so look for help where you can find it, such as hiring a dog walker to come and take your dog for walks. You might also think about boarding him for a brief period if you’ll be moving. This way, you can ensure he’s safe during all the activity and keep him from becoming anxious due to the changes.


Practice self-care


Taking care of yourself is so important during a difficult time. This can mean different things to different people, but for an individual with a disability, it might mean getting adequate rest, exercising daily, taking medication as prescribed, and not engaging in drug or alcohol abuse. Substance abuse is common for many people during a divorce because it numbs the emotional pain, but in the long run, it only makes things worse. Look for healthy ways to cope, such as practicing a hobby or learning a new one, and ask for help when you feel you need it. Click here for more tips on self-care.


Coping with a divorce is never easy, but with the support of your loved ones and a good plan for the near future, you can get through it. Remember to take care of your mental, emotional, and physical health every day and keep communication open with your loved ones so they’ll know how best to support you.

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5 Things to Consider Before Filling for Divorce

Divorce is a huge commitment, and sometimes we let our emotions make a decision we’ll later regret. Before you tell your spouse you want a divorce, you need to truly think about why divorce has entered your mind and if it’s really the best option for everyone involved. Here are five things you should consider before filing for a divorce.


  1. What is making you unhappy?

If you are thinking about divorce, it’s because you feel unhappy with your marriage. Think long and hard about what is making you unhappy, and then determine if there’s a viable solution. For instance, are you unhappy because you no longer do anything romantic with one another? If so, then plan a romantic getaway, even if it just means heading to a local hotel without the kids and indulging in room service and love making. Sometimes your unhappiness with the marriage can be adjusted, so think about finding a solution to the problem before filing for divorce.


  1. Have you communicated with your partner?

It’s possible that you’re unhappy with something your partner simply hasn’t noticed, so don’t let a lack of communication be the reason your marriage ends. For instance, if you are feeling unhappy, talk with your partner about it and see if there’s a solution you can both figure out together. Maybe you just feel too busy, so having each other work harder to make more time for one another can be the solution you need. Plus, sometimes your partner simply needs to hear your concerns in order to make an effort, so open your mouth and talk about it together.


  1. Do you need to make a personal adjustment?

AS you get older, your needs and thoughts and desires change, so sometimes you may be unhappy with yourself, and this can affect your marriage. If you need to make a personal change in order to benefit your marriage, then do so. Maybe this means changing careers or taking on a new hobby. Whatever it is, figure out what can make you be the spouse your partner deserves and create the marriage you want, and then move forward.


  1. Have you tried counseling?

Professional marriage counselors are out there for a reason, and they have helped many couples work through their issues and get back into a healthy marriage. Before you file for divorce, consider letting a professional help guide your relationship back to normal. This allows you and your spouse to talk openly to one another with the assistance of a third party, and it ensures you can find the solutions you’ve been searching for in a healthy way.


  1. Are you still in love?

Being in love is the hub that holds your relationship together, but love doesn’t always last forever. If you are still in love with your partner, then the marriage is worth fighting for to keep the both of you together. However, if you are no longer in love with your partner, then staying together will only create more friction between the two of you.


Marriages will come across their tough times, but opting for divorce as an immediate solution is not always the right thing to do. Be sure to fully consider your relationship and your own feelings before choosing divorce as an option. If you feel as if your marriage can be saved, then do what you can to make it work. However, if you find that your marriage simply cannot survive, then talking to a lawyer and making the decision to get divorced may be the final solution to make.

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Thinking About Divorce? Steps to Take

No marriage is 100% perfect, because nobody is 100% perfect. Marriage is something you need to work at constantly because the two of you need to make adjustments and compromises all the time. However, that doesn’t mean that you need to deal with an unhappy marriage just because it’s not easy. Instead, if you’ve been regularly thinking about divorce, then maybe something is wrong that needs to be fixed, or maybe at this point it’s just not fixable. If you have found yourself thinking about divorce recently, here are a few steps to take to make you determine your final decision.


Think about why you’ve been thinking about it.

Divorce just doesn’t pop into your head for no reason. Instead, there is something that is happening or happened that makes you feel as if your marriage is not going to work any longer. If you have been thinking about divorce, start to think about why this has started to pop into your head. Does it have something to do with you, such as more stress, a recent relationship with someone else, or maybe a desire to change and move on while your partner wants to stay the same? Does it have something to do with your spouse, such as their warndering eye, their change in attitude, their lack of romance, etc.? Once you know why you’ve been thinking about divorce, you can start to determine if there’s a way to fix the situation instead of making a life-changing decision.


Talk it out.

Talking about your feelings may not be the most enjoyable conversation to have, but it’s extremely important if you really want to save your marriage. Whether you’re unhappy because of issues with yourself, or you’re unhappy because of issues with your spouse, it’s necessary that you talk it out with your spouse so that everything is out in the open. For instance, having a conversation about the reasons for unhappiness, whether it’s because you don’t like something they’re doing or you have differences of your own, will help the two of you be on the same page and work together to solve the challenges.


Try counseling.

After your issues are out in the open, you can always seek out the help of a professional marriage counselor. These individuals are trained in helping couples work through their issues to try and salvage their marriage. However, in order for it to work, you and your spouse need to put in the effort. If one of you isn’t interested in trying, then it’s not worth the time or money you’ll spend. In addition, you need to be willing to put it all out on the table during these sessions and not hold anything back.


Talk to a legal professional.

If you have done everything you can to salvage the marriage and it still isn’t working, then you should spend some time talking to a legal professional about getting a divorce. Keep in mind that divorce is expensive and time-consuming, so it’s not something you can just be done with in a day. In addition, if you have children, it could make the situation more complicated. This doesn’t mean that divorce isn’t the right option, but it means you need to be 100% sure that this is what you want and need to move forward with your life.


Wanting a divorce is a serious decision to make, so if it’s something you’ve been thinking about, then you really need to sit down and figure out if it’s what you want to do. By trying to work through your challenges, it’s possible you and your spouse could make your marriage stronger.

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We’re Getting a Divorce, What Should I Expect in Court?

One of the most challenging aspects of going to court for a divorce is that you never know quite what is going to happen. If you are going to be part of a child custody hearing where your children are involved, it is especially essential that you know what is going to happen and what you can expect from court. Many people find themselves in a state of panic and fear as they start their own court proceedings.

There are some things that you can be sure that you will experience as you head to divorce court.

The Room Will Be Small

One thing that you will not have to worry about is a packed courtroom. Many people incorrectly think that the courtroom is going to be packed and they become overly nervous about stage-fright. While the criminal courtrooms are generally packed, family matters generally do not have additional people who are not directly involved in the case. The family courtroom setting is not only much smaller but it is also meant to be more intimate.

Prepare for the Testimony

During the court case, one thing that you can be certain of is that there are going to be numerous testimonies happening, so you should be prepared for these. In a custody case, everything that you have done as a parent will come into questioning. Not only will the judge interview you and your soon-to-be ex, but other witnesses can be called to discuss events that happened when the child was present. Even your child could be called to testify, depending on their age, so you should prepare for that as well.

Short Term Time Frame

Each day, judges hear many different cases in family court. This means that your case is not likely to last very long. Since there is a strong chance that more people will be coming into the courtroom after your case is heard, you might find that the whole process feels too quick or rushed. So, make sure that you are prepared to put yourself out there and have your best foot forward.

Be Prepared for a Judge’s Decision

The day might conclude with a final decision from the judge. In some cases, mediation or other courses of action might be taken in order to try and find the best solution for a family. The judge’s job is to put aside the wants and needs of the parents, and figure out what would be in the child’s best interest. His decision will include which parent is going to be the best custodial parent and what the visitation schedule should be.


Featured photo source: Pixabay.com

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