Don’t Let Your Divorce Damage Your Children

Every family that goes through divorce adds an additional challenge to their children’s lives.  However, even with this additional challenge there is no reason to believe that the divorce has to be devastating or damaging for your children.  If you take the right steps, you are going to be able to minimize how your children are affected by the divorce and increase your chances of getting a healthy divorce.  This can help you to keep your children as healthy and happy emotionally as possible.

Things to Remember

 You must remember that a divorce is a traumatic event for your child.  It is taking them away from the only world and things that they have ever known and throwing them into something that is completely new and different.  By remembering to take care of things in certain ways you will find that it is completely possible to have a successful divorce and remain happy together.


Do Not Allow Children to Pick Sides

While it might be tempting to try and ask your children what they think or who they would like to live with, your children should never be put in the middle of your divorce.  Make sure that you avoid this type of conversation and action with your children.  Talk to your children about how both of you love them equally and that while this is going to be something new, it does not mean that they will have to pick between the two of you. When going through a divorce, it’s important to remember that custody is not about winning or losing, it’s about what’s right for the children.


Modeling Maturity

It can be hard not to stoop to someone else’s level when you are going through a divorce.  Many times exes get so caught up in what the other person is doing to them that they forget to follow through with what is best for their children.  If you are going through a divorce, then it is really time to put your children first.  Make sure that you are having an open dialogue with them about what is happening and what they need.  Continue to act in a mature way in front of your children so that they understand how to react in healthy ways themselves.


Be Honest with Your Children

Instead of trying to hide the fact that you are getting a divorce, sit down with your spouse and talk openly and honestly with your children about the fact that you are getting a divorce.  While this might be the hardest conversation that you will ever have with your children, it is one that they deserve to be a part of.  Make sure that you stress to your children that the divorce is in no way their fault and that they are still loved equally by both of their parents.


Make Sure Children Know It is Not Their Fault

 It is very important that your children understand that it is nothing that they did that is causing the divorce.  Keep reiterating to them that this is not their fault.  So many times in divorce children end up thinking that the reason that the parents are no longer together has something to do with them.  Make sure that this is not the case with your children.


Don’t Change Too Much for Your Children

 Of course, it can be hard to go through with a divorce.  One of the things that you should be doing is making sure that you are not changing too much for your children.  When it comes to activities or routines, you want to keep things as normal as necessary.  If possible, make sure that you are staying in the same school district too.

Going through a divorce is never easy.  In fact, it is going to be hard on both parents and the children.  Realizing this will help you to better understand how to address your children’s needs, continue putting them first, and will help them to have the best possible relationship with both parents regardless of situations.

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